Terrified of Beautiful…

Posted: June 12, 2012 in Sexuality & Relationships, Vernon L. Johnson

Observations seem to be my new vice. I observe everything from people to little bugs climbing through a tiny crevice on an oak tree. I have admiration for the imperfections I see, and I have come to the conclusion that perfection cannot be achieved, but only strived for. There will always be problems. You may have a great job, but you may not have a partner to be happy with and vice versa. Some people are so interesting, and have so many good things to say that could shape and help people’s perceptions on life. Instead, in some instances, people are reluctant to make themselves vulnerable or humble to share the real or hurtful experiences in their lives. People instead hide behind a façade of non-emotional walls that makes for more internalized pain and struggle.

These are the horrid results of  receiving horizontal communication, the elusiveness of having respectability for one’s beliefs and actions. I sometimes wonder if people are so empty that declarative statements such as, “All men ain’t shit,” “Imma do me till the end,” “Fuck these hoes,” etc. are only cover-ups for the emotionally tightly packed luggage that got lost in the baggage claim. Some men cry and are hurt by things done to them, but society and unsafe environments won’t allow for sentimental displacement of these feelings. Some women unfairly and sometimes unknowingly box men into traps of hyper masculinity (violent, aggressive, dangerous). I.e. “I need someone who can put me in my place if I get out of hand.” These type of stereotypes are harmful and take away from the good authentic men in our communities.  Chris Hedges hints at this indulgence into celebrity culture and make believe as the, “Empire of Illusion.” There are good men out there who don’t have a fancy car or money, but may be well educated and will surely surpass many others in due time or what I like to call having “progressive potential.” There are great women out there, whose worth is not formulated on their clothing, sexual past, or any other misogynistic characteristic that is the basis for their potential as a partner.

I know my examples may have a heteronormative sentiment, but believe these traits can exist in any type of relationship. We must remember, masculinity and femininity are gender-based (learned) behaviors. Simply, these are examples of how materialistic and unsubstantiated thoughts can hinder the love people seek so much, and ultimately, what everyone wants. Pride can be the blockage to Maslow’s self-actualization in the Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. It essentially comes down to this, when you place materialistic and unproven material ahead of people’s intangible potential and goodness, you lose before you begin. Frank Ocean’s “Scared of Beautiful” sums it up beautifully. “Scared of the good more than the evil, scared of the light more than dark, scared of the truth so much more than the lie. I’m scared for you…I’m scared of you…scared of beautiful.”



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